Gush

I just need to asdfghjkl;.

SOOOO New Years Day I post a snap of myself using my sister’s selfie stick. I looked nice in my recently acquired light blue jeans and pinstripe button down. A KSA guy (K.S.) who I played soccer with and got to know better facebook messages me.

K: Wonnie. WTF
Me:? What happened?
K:You’re so pretty like wtf
K: How is that fair
Me: What. Are you okay?
K: LOL yeah i just saw your story and i was like omg wonnie is so pretty

LIKE WHO CASUALLY SAYS THIS TYPE OF THING. What’s great is that he’s genuine and genuinely NOT hitting on me. I don’t know how to convey the relationship but he’s like a chill friend (even though I’m only just getting to know him better). Seriously the best thing. It still makes me smile when I remember it.

Fast forward to today.

His little in KSA, R.E., and I were walking to our cars after Culture Show rehearsal. It ended around 11:30pm and we entered the parking lot around 11:35? So he parked further away so I offered to drive him, but he declined. As we neared my car, there was a group of 5-6 college men hanging around and in a car a few spots away from mine. I offered once more and he replied, “No thanks. I’ll wait until you get into your car and walk to C Lot.”

I was so confused. I guess it showed in my face cause he added, “You never know,” and looked towards the group of guys.

LIKE WHO ACTUALLY THAT GALLANT. But apparently, he saw the potential danger I couldn’t. I was soooo blown away. It was the smallest thing but my heart tightened a bit in awe/appreciation/adoration. He got so many brownie points like I can’t.

People always mention that K.S. and R.E. look alike, but how in the world do they manage to act alike? They make the ladies swoon.

Fanfics (Writing in general)

The thing I hate about fanfics is sitting down to write them. That and the fact that I can’t really share them to my friends because they can get a little NSFW. But I mean, I wouldn’t describe that in detail. But I’m writing another Hetalia fanfic and I’m pretty excited. My last one was a bit dark. This one isn’t as much. It really cute, and it has all my favorite pairings. It’s one of those stories where all the characters are interrelate. However, I’m worried that there is too much connection between them for it to be a coincidence. Nearly EVERYONE is tied back to this one bar. I might have to change a few things…

I really wanted to share this with one of my other friends who also likes the show. But she isn’t one of those listening types, you know? Unless she is intrigued, she won’t really have the patience to listen. It’s understandable, but I would like to share occasionally too. Sometimes I wonder if I’m too nice. Or if I’m a total pushover. Then again, I’m not really good at speaking. I tend to stutter on occasion or mispronounce words. 

I don’t even know. I don’t want to complain, but this is slowly sounding like a complaint. So here are some facts, I guess. I get interrupted a lot. I get shot down a lot, or at least my ideas do. I don’t have friends who I could comfortably sit down and rant to about my characters. Or the friends who do don’t know the show I’m talking about.

I guess I’m getting frustrated. I want to share with my friends, but I don’t feel like I can. Even though they are my friends. The internet doesn’t really help either since I’m not talented enough to be recognized by the World Wide Web. So I’m in an in between. Sigh.

Religious Fallout

If anything religious offends you don’t read anymore. I’m not gonna be preaching to convert but I understand people don’t like talking/reading about religion…

So this past Sunday I realized something. My friend who is slowly slipping away from Christ came to church. I was very happy and proud of her. However, I also felt guilty. When she started to dwindle in attendance, I got angry and blamed her for it. Asking the questions of “why not?”. But I guess that was just me trying to protect myself.

I’ve had friends fall away from church before. Many. Not to mention I have close gay friends. My heart really does break for these guys. I love them to death. However seeing them struggling and drowning in the worldly things makes me want to cry. It actually did make me cry this past Sunday.

They have so much potential. They have so much to give. Yet because of the devil they are bound. They are unable to move. It frustrates me because I have to watch this. I want to help them, but with their mindsets now they won’t accept any religious talk.

I guess all in all, I’m scared. I fear for them. The world is not kind to people who are not grounded. Whether their rock is in family, religion, or something else. And if that support system is weak, the world will cause it to erode and crumble. My rock is Christ. I hope it won’t change. However, I see these friends who deny Christ because of pain and suffering. They have lost faith in God. And I’m scared. Although they won’t lose the protection of God, a one way relationship is never painless.

I fear for their lives. I’ve felt it before. The feeling of worthlessness and nothingness. The feeling that death will free me of all pain. But I was able to pull through because of my religion. However, my friends don’t even have that much. And I don’t want to go to any funerals this early on in my life for those my age.

It’s a fallout, but I pray they can stumble back in…