The woman was not arrogant enough to consider herself observant or even intelligent. She read novel where a brilliant man could determine another’s life with a single glance. Other great minds drew from this example. She could not do that. She only liked to imagine. Was she an open book like all the other characters? Could others read her faults like God on Judgement Day? Thoughts seemed to be as easily revealed. However, no one could be that clever. The obvious things could be noticed. The simple facts that others overlook in life, such as an Adam’s apple. It’s such a small detail, but clear as day when you know where to look. And she imagined that she knew. She looked as the man walking by the café window noticed his watch on his right wrist. Strange. She wore hers on her left. Then she understood.
The man didn’t think it was strange at all. The world was always strange to him. Nothing was right or wrong (or left, really). Scissors. Instruments.The machines that accepted his credit cards. The roads even. With an upside down world, he wondered if it could be considered strange that he was dismissed from work. Not his younger naïve coworker. Not the dying veteran. Just the man caught in the middle. The middle men always seemed to get the worst in life. They neither get the physical escape of an aisle nor the mental escape of a window. In an argument, the man is stuck between two parties. They find themselves involved while being equally irrelevant to the issue. Helpless. Maybe that’s what is so discouraging about being the middle man. It wasn’t the man’s fault for being caught between cooperate and the consumers.However, he was the one getting cut. He was an innocent bystander. Akin to all those civilian caught in the line of fire. They were neither one nor the other, yet their lives were forfeit against their will. That’s rape, isn’t it? A cold blade sliding against the flesh drawing blood and occasionally revealing bone. A scalding hot bullet making its way through bodies or resting somewhere between muscle and bone.
The sounds were strange, foreign. This was a virgin after all. The action was done again. In and out. The female body laying underneath didn’t seem to understand what was going on. She was numb to everything except the other’s actions. The virgin couldn’t handle the thrill and became violent in strength and erratic in movement. Liquids splattered. By the end, the female body lay still as a corpse, and the virgin rose as a virgin no more with blade in hand. A small thought occurred to her whether this high is the same high felt after sex.
The woman in the café knew she should be scared of such thoughts. She knew if her thoughts were projected, she would probably be arrested as a terrorist of sorts. However, how else could she relate to criminals other than to think like them? She could never commit any of these acts. It was rape of sorts. People tend to die of their own accord, regardless.
The baristaglanced up from their register to see the woman by the window. She didn’t have anyone in front of her or any indication she had an electronic device. However, the barista noticed that this customer was smiling. It was a small smile. A type of smile you would show when something ironic happens. The barista wondered if she was evaluating her life. It was something the barista saw every morning as business personnel found motivation in coffee.It was a sea of people struggling to swim with the current created by the top one percent. Or for the bravest, to change that current.The only savior in their lives was Joe, made to their liking, nothing more and nothing less. The barista frowned. Why couldn’t other things be made to satisfaction? The barista adjusted their apron to hide their waist line. Genetic testing is a huge issue, isn’t it? The barista greeted the customer with a smile. A large caramel macchiato with low fat and sugar free syrup. Anything else? That’ll be $4.36. This man had a nice stature. A healthy body that is shaped by exercise, most likely. It would be beautiful to have. There was another man in the corner of the store that had dark lush hair that seductively waved. It would come together nicely with this man’s body. Here’s your change of sixty-four cents. The customer took the change, and the barista frowned inwardly. Those hands wouldn’t do. The woman by the window had nice hands. It wouldn’t look strange on this man’s body either. Possibly a bit small, but that’s a minor detail. She had hands that looked strong, and it was better groomed than this man’s. The barista got to work on the man’s order. Why was this such a huge issue? Was creating a human being that much different from concocting Joe? Creating a child had a process and necessary ingredients as well. Why not make it the way you desire? A dark feeling came over the barista towards Mother and Father. However, the barista realized he couldn’t hold any resentment against them. Technology wasn’t as advanced in their time. They didn’t have the option.
The woman found the barista attractive in the reflection of the window. It was strange that the woman didn’t notice it before when she was ordering her drink. He held himself well. A nice broad set of shoulders. Arms that showed that he went to the gym. A waist line that showed he kept a good diet. She couldn’t see more than that due to the counter. She looked back at her hands. She frowned. A dark feeling came over so she escaped it by wondering how bodies could be hidden.
So um. I had a very disturbing and sexy(?) dream last night.
I didn’t realize. I didn’t think he was being serious. However, he cried when I confirmed that I was not planning on being with him for the long run. I thought he had the same thoughts as me. That this is a relationship and relationships end. I don’t have a plan. I don’t have a date I set when I break up with him. I just think it’ll happen. Personally, he doesn’t have neither of the requirements I set for my future husband. He isn’t Korean nor speak Korean and he isn’t Christian.
There has been quite a few things bothering me and causing me to be insecure. Obviously from all the previous posts. But I talked it out with him. Reassured about everything. He does get jealous, has things about me that bother him,
The Missing Chapter 